Laughs from Employee Performance Evaluations

(As obtained from a forwarded email ... )

For everyone who has ever had an evaluation - just remember, it could have been worse. These are actual quotes taken from federal government employee performance evaluations.

1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom and has started to dig."

2. "I would not allow this employee to breed."

3. "This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be."

4. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."

5. "When he opens his mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet."

6. "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."

7. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."

8. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

9. "This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts the better."

10. "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together."

11. "A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."

12. "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."

14. "I would like to go hunting with him sometime."

15. "He's been working with glue too much."

16. "He would argue with a signpost."

17. "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."

18. "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."

19. "If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one."

20. "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."

21. "A prime candidate for natural de-selection."

22. "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."

23. "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."

24. "He's got two brains cells, one is lost and the other is out looking for it."

25. "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."

26. "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."

27. "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."

28. "It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm."

29. "One neuron short of a synapse."

30. "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."

31. "Takes him 2 hours to watch 60-minutes."

32. "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."

Lunch at South Indies @ Indiranagar, Bangalore

It was the occasion of my friend-cum-colleague giving his farewell treat to us, when we all decided to try out the lunch buffet in South Indies @ Indiranagar (100 Ft Road). Without doing much of RnD on the Internet we went there to try out the food.

We found it to be an exclusive South Indian restaurant with western touch to its ambiance. It is good for people who love south Indian foods and for people who are yet to tickle their taste buds with the taste of south Indian delicacies. They serve only Vegetarian Foods.... bad news for all Non-Veg Lovers like me ;-).

The ambiance is very nice. You have the option of sitting inside the glass rooms or in their courtyard in open air. I was surprised so see a huge rush of people crowding the place (1300 hours). Many of them were foreigners.

The food is well prepared, but I felt they lack variety. You will have very few option between dishes. Having said this, I felt that the price of buffet (Rs. 175/- per person) is slightly overpriced, Rs 125/- would be a fair amount. I guess they charge it more because of nice ambiance and service. They would serve the food in designer plates.

Buffet Items were:

1. Plain Boilded Rice (White Rice)

2. Drumstick Sambar

3. Cucumber Curry (hot)

4. Coconut Stew

5. Uthappam (Keralian Dosa)

6. Parota

7. Lemon Rice

8. Rasam

9. Curd, Pickles, Spicy Pudi (powder), etc

10. Rice Payasam (Rice Custard / Kheer)

11. Ice-creams

(I hope i didnt miss out any item)

They also have serve-on-demand basis service, where you can order any dish of your choice from the menu. The service is very good and response time is impressive.

I also noticed them taking orders on PDA's instead of conventional paper pads - which is similar to any STAR restaurants in modern days.

After googling a bit, I found their website : http://www.thesouthindies.com/

I also found Blog about the restaurant in my friend Thejesh's website with photos: http://www.eventsbangalore.net/2007/05/21/south-indies-good-south-indian-resturant/

Overall Rating : 3.5/5 (3.5 out of 5)

Pros:

1. Good Ambiance 2. Good Service 3. Well Prepared Food

Cons:

1. Less Variety 2. Only Vegetarian Food 3. A bit overpriced.

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South Indies phone numbers are 4163 6361 or 4163 6363

Chat with GOD

God : Hello. Did you call me?

Me: Called you? No.. Who is this ?

God : This is GOD. I heard your prayers. So I thought I will chat.

Me: I do pray. Just makes me feel good. I am actually busy now. I am in the midst of something.

God : What are you busy at? Ants are busy too.

Me: Don't know. But I cant find free time. Life has become hectic. It's rush hour all the time.

God : Sure. Activity gets you busy. But productivity gets you results. Activity consumes time. Productivity frees it.

Me: I understand. But I still can't figure out. By the way, I was not expecting YOU to buzz me on instant messaging chat.

God : Well I wanted to resolve your! Fight for time, by giving you some clarity. In this net era, I wanted to reach you through the medium you are comfortable with.

Me: Tell me, why has life become complicated now?

God : Stop analyzing life. Just live it. Analysis is what makes it complicated.

Me: why are we then constantly unhappy?

God : Your today is the tomorrow that you worried about yesterday.You are worrying because you are analyzing. Worrying has become your habit. That's why you are not happy.

Me: But how can we not worry when there is so much uncertainty?

God : Uncertainty is inevitable, but worrying is optional.

Me: But then, there is so much pain due to uncertainty. .

God : Pain is inevitable able, but suffering is optional.

Me: If suffering is optional, why do good people always suffer?

God : Diamond cannot be polished without friction. Gold cannot be purified without fire. Good people go through trials, but don't suffer. With that experience their life become better not bitter.

Me: You mean to say such experience is useful?

God : Yes. In every terms, Experience is a hard teacher . She gives the test first and the lessons afterwards.

Me: But still, why should we go through such tests? Why cant we be free from problems?

God : Problems are Purposeful Roadblocks Offering Beneficial Lessons (to) Enhance Mental Strength. Inner strength comes from struggle and endurance, not when you! Are free from problems.

Me: Frankly in the midst of so many problems, we don't know where we are heading..

God : If you look outside you will not know where you are heading.Look inside. Looking outside, you dream. Looking inside, you awaken. Eyes provide sight. Heart provides insight.

Me: Sometimes not succeeding fast seems to hurt more than moving in the right direction. What should I do?

God : Success is a measure as decided by others. Satisfaction is a measure as decided by you. Knowing the road ahead is more satisfying than knowing you rode ahead. You work with the compass. Let others work with the clock.

Me: In tough times, how do you stay motivated?

God : Always look at how far you have come rather than how far you have to go. Always count your blessing, not what you are missing.

Me: What surprises you about people?

God : when they suffer they ask, "why me?" When they prosper, they never ask "Why me" Everyone wishes to have truth on their side, but few want to be on the side of the truth.

Me: Sometimes I ask, who am I, why am I here. I cant get the answer.

God : Seek not to find who you are, but to determine who you want to be. Stop looking for a purpose as to why you are here. Create it. Life is not a process of discovery but a process of creation.

Me: How can I get the best out of life?

God : Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear.

Me: One last question. Sometimes I feel my prayers are not answered.

God : There are no unanswered prayers. At times the answer is NO.

Me: Thank you for this wonderful chat.

God : Well. Keep the faith and drop the fear . Don't believe your doubts and doubt your beliefs. Life is a mystery to solve not a problem to resolve. Trust me. Life is wonderful if you know how to live. "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that took our breath away!

India on Chikungunya Alert

Chikungunya, a viral disease, is transmitted to humans by infected mosquitoes, typically 'Aedes aegypti'(Alpha Virus), although there may be other competent mosquito vectors. The name, chickungunya, comes from the Swahili for stooped walk, reflecting the physique of a person suffering from the disease. Chikungunya, which has dengue-like symptoms of very high fever and rash, is highly contagious and disabling. The disease has been described in Africa, South-East Asia, southern India and Pakistan. It occurs principally during the rainy season and is not considered fatal, so far.

Symptoms:

• Chikungunya is rarely fatal. Symptoms appear between 4 and 7 days after the patient has been bitten by the infected mosquito.
• A high fever and headache occur, with significant pains in the joints (ankles, wrists) ,rashes and can persist for several weeks.
  
  

Preventive Measures:

• Good Hygiene, Healthy Eating Practices


• Good House keeping


• Proper spraying of disinfectants


• The main preventive measure is to stop the proliferation of mosquitoes by reducing their breeding grounds. We should take care to see that the surroundings are kept clean and hygienic, without stagnant water-the main source for mosquito breeding.

As per MOHFW (Ministry of Health & Family Welfare) mosquito-control is the only way to fight chikungunya. Health Ministry teams have already been sent to the states and the National Institute of Communicable Diseases is monitoring the situation. While supportive, palliative medical care with anti-inflammatories and analgesics is available; there is no specific treatment for chikungunya. It is usually self-limiting, disappearing with time.

Blogging Inspirations...

I was reluctant to write a blog until today. In this blog, I'm just trying to jot in down the names of the persons who influenced and inspired me to start my blogging activity... the names are not in any order .. but just random ...

• Jayakumar
• Ramaswamy
• Velu
• Vipin
• Niranj
• Thejesh
• Sanju
• And many others (I'm just trying to keep this list shorter)

I thank them all...

Against the wind...

This is my first ever web blog... so thought of starting with a song that I like...

Lyrics and music by Bob Seger

It seems like yesterday

But it was long ago

Janey was lovely she was the queen of my nights

There in the darkness with the radio playing low

And the secrets that we shared

The mountains that we moved

Caught like a wildfire out of control

'Til there was nothing left to burn and nothing left to prove

And I remember what she said to me

How she swore that it never would end

I remember how she held me oh so tight

Wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then

Against the wind

We were runnin' against the wind

We were young and strong, we were runnin'

Against the wind

The years rolled slowly past

And I found myself alone

Surrounded by strangers I thought were my friends

I found myself further and further from my home

And I guess I lost my way

There were oh so many roads

I was living to run and running to live

Never worryied about paying or even how much I owed

Moving eight miles a minute for months at a time

Breaking all of the rules that would bend

I began to find myself searching

Searching for shelter again and again

Against the wind

A little something against the wind

I found myself seeking shelter against the wind

Well those drifter's days are past me now

I've got so much more to think about

Deadlines and commitments

What to leave in, what to leave out

Against the wind

I'm still runnin' against the wind

I'm older now but still runnin' against the wind

Well I'm older now and still runnin'

Against the wind

Against the wind

Against the wind

Still runnin'

I'm still runnin' against the wind

I'm still runnin'

I'm still runnin' against the wind

Still runnin'

Runnin' against the wind

Runnin' against the wind

See the young man run

Watch the young man run

Watch the young man runnin'

He'll be runnin' against the wind

Let the cowboys ride

Let the cowboys ride

They'll be ridin' against the wind

Against the wind ...